She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
