just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
