Nicole vs. Life
Non-Jews are for practice
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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