i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
