so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
