No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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