Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
