i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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