Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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