I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
