We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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