This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
