as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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