She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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