you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
