If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
