yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
