he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
