Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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