I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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