Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
