Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
