Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
