What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
