Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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