You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
