In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
