After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
