I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
