You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
