There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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