Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
