Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
