If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
