I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
