I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
