Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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