For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
