just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
