Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
