she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
