Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
