why didn't you poke me back
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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