please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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