dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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