You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
