...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
