Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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