i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
