Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Randomize
