Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
