it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
