You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
