He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
