I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
